Current mood:	apathetic
Current music:	the killers

my insecurities seem to have magnified suddenly. i seem to be slipping back into the old state of things and that makes me very sad indeed. its seems like this past week has caused me to resume to my old and very bad habits.for a while there i was feeling pretty good bout myself. i didnt care anymore that i didnt have a six pack and that i wouldnt fit into a size zero jean. but something about school changes me. i dont feel the same. im always self concious and i think i have a slight bit of agoraphobia. im absolutely dreading the start of school, even more so this year then the years before. and its a sad thing when a razor consoles my tears and im happy to be able to fit into a size 1/2 pant from aeropostal.. its a sick thing.. i need to get out of this house, its driving me insane. my stepdad has been on jury duty so hes been home at unexpected times and i realize how much i hate him, i fantasized about him dyeing the other day. no bueno.